Company Holiday Party Gifts

Bo're'droom

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Here and There Trays

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Party Animals.

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'