Holiday Party Gifts

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

Thesaurus Company

Champagne fountain.

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

'The pastries are good, but I'd stay away from that cheese.'

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

A man pouring sherry at a table

'The invitation clearly said smart casual...'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We need to dance around this issue. Get me someone from the choreography department.'

"Relax, the invitation clearly says smart casual."

Warning: This product may cause you to think you're good at singing karaoke.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Christmas Canapes

'I hope you made extras, because your evite went viral.'

'My husband's the loud, silent type.'

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

Punch

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

'I see she's wearing her 'Bring 'em back alive' dress tonight!'

Home-made wine

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"If my husband starts nibbling your ear, you have my permission to confiscate his teeth."

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the beer's gone."

"Sorry, there's no room in here. Howard always overbooks our cocktail parties."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

Cock tail

"Gossiping about work at happy hour is not considered overtime."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

Hank is full of holiday leer.

"Maybe we should've done layoffs after the holiday party."