Holiday Celebration Gifts

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

Pessimists saw a ship sinking. Optimists saw that they needn't worry about the Norovirus.

"I've just noticed - these aren't Christmas baubles - they're stress balls..."

Holiday Gifts 2020

Garden Variety Irish

Wrapping presents

Melting Polar Ice Caps.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"What did I say about putting all your eggs in one basket?"

'Wow! THAT'S what I'd call a Birthday surprise! It's the Christmas crap I sold on eBay!'

'Never say, 'but everyday is children's day!' '

"Don't forget your sandwiches.. and I put in a couple of mince pies."

"I just got back from my Easter vacation down south."

Dog dressed as Santa Claus. 'She's in season'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

' Hey Grandma, I found it over here!'

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

Santa Claus does not exist. Satan.

'This always happens at Christmas!'

"Sure, you'd be able to fly too if Santa were to sprinkle Magic Dust on you..."

Six items or less Santa.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Hark the Herald Angels Sing

'Thank you for not Bob-bob Bobbin' along, Santa'

'If you're not going to help decorate the office, give me back the plastic Santa.'

Elf

Employees disappointed with a very poor Office Christmas party's buffet.

Somewhere in a clover pasture on March 17th...

Happy Christmas

"Yes, the biggest goose you can find - take it to the Cratchet's! And get a receipt - it's a legitimate business expense!"

"I programmed our smart Christmas tree to throw out boring gifts, like socks, shirts and pants."

By refusing to wear any underpants, Santa was keeping alive the true spirit of Saint Knickerless."

'I'd go easy on the milk and cookies... you have a lot of work ahead of you.'

There are days when even Santa doesn't believe in Santa anymore...