Office Holiday Party Gifts

'Warning - inappropriate behaviour could lead to harassement claims. Please shake hands under the mistletoe!'

'What's this, Dawkins?another of you 'visual metaphors'?'

"Who the hell keeps turning up the heat in here!?!"

Fat Man Viewing Pie Chart Thinks About Real Pie

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

Corporate policy is that this company is now paperless. Please use hand.

"I'll tell you my secret for increasing productivity. That clock has been unplugged for half an hour."

After party skid-mark remover.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Bill endures yet another wooden presentation delivered to a room full of waxen figures.

'It's just your usual office Christmas party - standing around...same faces...hoping someone gets tipsy.'

Corporate Gym

'Remember,Riley-as soon as you clear your desk you may leave early.'

"This one suggests I take a long walk off a short pier and this one says to go jump in the lake...I could use a vacation."

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'The breakfast meeting, can you spot the deliberate mistake'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"I hate it when he makes snow angels in his bonus."

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"