Office Christmas Gifts

Wares/Wears: 'Soft...Hard...Under.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

21st century water cooler conversations.

Boss's Desk Says No!

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Here and There Trays

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."