Corporate Holiday Party Pillows

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Yes-dog.

'We can't merge again. Our letterhead already takes up the entire page.'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

Bo're'droom

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"I think it stopped breathing."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

Thesaurus Company

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

Pizza time.

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

How to read the dress code?

"All those in favor of adjourning for treats, raise your hands?"