Cooling Crusader Gifts

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

Air conditioner.

Face painting by numbers.

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

It's a Dog's life

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

Net Zero Superstitions

Hourglass earth - time running out

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

Relaxation Technique

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

'I thought you encouraged self-expression!'

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

Carbon capture and storage

"When they said they wanted to be saved, I assumed they were talking long term."

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'

"Not again!"

Polar bear produces snowflakes as he plays a musical instrument.

'It's difficult to get passioniate about things you can't pronounce.'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'