Cookie Cruncher Pillows

"Help yourself to a fortune cookie while the ball is warming up."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"Ninja bread men"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The roof needs icing.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"No, this is 111110100111101111 ... you want 111110100111101101."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

A complimentary biscuit

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'Because it's there!'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

Cookie Thief

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

"Cough cough"

He's Tasty!

Dr. Frankenstein: 'Heyyyy, What THE...?!'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

Santa's Nightmares