Cookie Crumbler Pillows

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ninja bread men"

'Works every time.'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'The roof needs icing.'

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

"The cookies are always stale."

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

A complimentary biscuit

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'