Cookie Crackers Pillows

"It keeps asking me if I'll accept cookies... I'm not even hungry!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Ninja bread men"

'Works every time.'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'The roof needs icing.'

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

A complimentary biscuit

"The cookies are always stale."

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'