Cookie Consent Humorist Gifts

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

Various Traps.

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"They've checked the DNA and it's gingerbread."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"She keeps trying to mold me into her own image."

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

"My fortune cookie says to call the food poisoning hotline."

Gossip

Fortune Cookies

"Dear Santa, The cookies were made with laxatives. If you give me the bike I want, I'll give you the key to the bathroom door. Love, Jimmy."

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

Welcome: Psychics Convention.

Madam Zelta foresees all.

"My best legal advice is to run, run, as fast as you can."

"I don't want your money, I want you to be my friend on facebook!"

"I smell Toffee."

'And this is Mr. Ferguson - He's from the Federal Department of Wedding Compliance.'

A woman doesn't realise she's speaking to a parrot in confessional.

Pizza for the priest.

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

'Toffee is very bad for your teeth.'

"I live each day in uncertainty, forever skating on the razor edge between cookie and no cookie."

'No thanks, darling. If I ate cake at all my weddings, I'd weigh a ton.'

"Smoked Gouda"

'Wouldn't it be less of a burden on your conscience if you told the parliamentary standards committee rather than me.'