Candy Humorist Gifts

'Toffee is very bad for your teeth.'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Cake Free Zone

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

"Med Brittle"

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'Did you just curdle?'

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

"I got horse dewormer..."

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

How to make your own snickers bar

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

Candy Land for Adults

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'The thought of your biscuits brings a lump to my throat.'

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'

'You're lucky she didn't press charges. Never touch a woman eating ice cream.'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

Tea Cup Ride

popcorn...

'I'm down to one cup of coffee a day.'