Contradiction Fan T-Shirts

Gym/Tan/Donut

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

"No aliens"

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

Overly wordy travel.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

"I consider the day a success when I leave the office and have to tiptoe through pieces of broken paradigm!"

'Painter'

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

Scuba Skater

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

"I feel an intense pride, Robert, that I live in a country rich enough to have war and peace at the same time."

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

'No thanks, I'm trying to cut down on meat products.'

"I aspire to greatness, but I don't really feel like doing anything about it..."

An Oarsman

United for Peace and War

'We'll get by with some money I've saved, my part time job, and my payments as an F.B.I. informer...'

'You've got to give up these escape attempts,'

Snake charmer has been eaten by his snake.

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

"You fool! I said pillage! Pillage and burn!"

'Ow! I tore something in my elbow, when I pulled out the cork. I thought red wine was supposed to be good for you.'

"I'm wearing one....under the woolen pullover!"