Contradiction Fan T-Shirts

Gym/Tan/Donut

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

"No aliens"

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

Overly wordy travel.

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

'Painter'

"I consider the day a success when I leave the office and have to tiptoe through pieces of broken paradigm!"

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

Scuba Skater

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

"I feel an intense pride, Robert, that I live in a country rich enough to have war and peace at the same time."

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

'No thanks, I'm trying to cut down on meat products.'

Snake charmer has been eaten by his snake.

An Oarsman

'You've got to give up these escape attempts,'

'We'll get by with some money I've saved, my part time job, and my payments as an F.B.I. informer...'

"I aspire to greatness, but I don't really feel like doing anything about it..."

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

"You fool! I said pillage! Pillage and burn!"

"I'm wearing one....under the woolen pullover!"

'Hey look at me! I'm attention seeking!'

'The irony is that your brother is still the nonconformist.'