Contradiction Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Being wealthy is no bed of roses, you know -- do you realize how much junk mail I get?'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"No aliens"

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

"Just junk mail."

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

Gym/Tan/Donut

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'I think I'll write it up for 'The Journal of Controversial Research'.'

Oxymorons

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

Save the Smallpox Virus t-shirt slogan

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

Limbaugh and the GOP.

"Sometimes it's so bleedin' hard to know who to vote for."

'The fact is, we can't seem to agree about ANYTHING!' 'Rubbish!'