Contradiction Enthusiasts Pillows

'Being wealthy is no bed of roses, you know -- do you realize how much junk mail I get?'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"No aliens"

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

Gym/Tan/Donut

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

"Just junk mail."

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'I think I'll write it up for 'The Journal of Controversial Research'.'

Roger Clemens: Innocent until proven guilty.

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

Oxymorons

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

Save the Smallpox Virus t-shirt slogan

"Sometimes it's so bleedin' hard to know who to vote for."

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

Society for the Furtherance of Liberal Thought.

Limbaugh and the GOP.

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

"On the other hand, he's really good on infrastructure and tax reform."