Contradiction Appreciator Pillows

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Nun reading book titled 'How to be good in bed.'

Angel/Devil.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Cowboys in a saloon gather around a Georgia O'Keefe painting.

"Tom puts the rigor in rigor mortis."

"I hate it when we fight."

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'Well this is awkward.'

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

"No aliens"

"You're just mad because I found a scholar to back me up."

"The good news is that you'll be immortalized in a world-famous painting. The bad news...your face is stuck like that for life!"

A Heated Argument

Oxymorons

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'

Maybe we never actually do anything because we keep calling for a show of hands.