Comedic Contradiction Fan T-Shirts

Scuba Skater

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Whiskey wars

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

Gym/Tan/Donut

An expedition to get ice for the party.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"Well, of course you have a heart."

"One day, son, all this will be....Never mind."

LARGE FRONT

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

'Traitor! I hate you!'

Two men arguing on a train journey

An Oarsman

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE: 'It says we should have nominated Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.'

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'

'Ow! I tore something in my elbow, when I pulled out the cork. I thought red wine was supposed to be good for you.'

"I'm wearing one....under the woolen pullover!"

"I'll have the healthy meal, supersized, with a hot fudge sundae and a diet cola."

Cyclists with a pollution guard on having a cigarette

Cats in police lineup

'What kind of idiots would go hunting in this kind of weather?'

"...They look more like Albert's."