Contradiction Explorer Gifts

'I deplore the lack of internet privacy and so do 5,000 of my Facebook friends,'

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Don't Buy Local!

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'

Crackpot watches while women catfight.

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

Assertive hotline: 'Even though the announcer tells you not to, it's OK to touch your TV dial.'

Society for the Furtherance of Liberal Thought.

Carl was never one to waver. He always changed his mind with great determination.

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

"No aliens"

"Department of Philosophy" "Free Why-fi"

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

Justice Weighs Truth

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Mountain Goat sees Mountain Goat Guru at peak.

Guru Greg's Soul Repair

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Rush Limbaugh, Balloon Boy.

'Because it's HIGH UP there!'

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

Oxymorons

Baseball Angels

Shadow Artist

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'