Contract Cowboy Gifts

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

Elevator/Open Range

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"The boss use to herd cattle before he started the company."