Contract Collector Pillows

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Secular damnation

"Honey, are you hoarding lawyers again?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'You shouldn't have.'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

The Boss.

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."