Contract Co-conspirator Gifts

"It's the standard contract. . . with just enough loopholes to cover us!"

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

The Devil's in the detail!

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Let's run it through legal.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

"Why would I lie to you? I pay lawyers to do that."

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Aways read the small print.

'If you were a carp where would you go?'