Contract Kingpin Gifts

"This is my lawyer, my lawyer's lawyer and my lawyer's lawyer's lawyer!"

"The government thought that because we're independent scientists we'll back them up as long as the money's ok. I told them that was true and we got the contract!"

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

Will work for Food Network.

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

Corporate Lawyers

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

'There was a catch to my lawyer's pro bono offer.'

'Where do I see myself in five years? Well, doing your job of course!'

Worker doing impression from the end of Titanic.

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Safety Pin

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'Granted, you're the boss at home, Doris, but around here I'm the boss, I really am!'

Whisk