Corporate Conspirator Gifts

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

"I remember driving to Roswell and then it goes blank."

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'The presence of what look like standard torch batteries proves conclusively that the craft was designed by super intelligent beings so that if it was captured it would be mistaken for a hoax.'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

Department of Dot Connection

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

"Meet Elvis?? Sorry, but they were right. . . He's alive and well on Earth!"

'Are you sure this photo is of us? It looks like a couple of floating logs to me.'

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

"We have to keep them guessing."

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits

Billy strip: bed pan.

"Nothing yet, sir, but we have found Elvis."

"If they figure out how to clone humans, we're screwed."

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."