Coffee Conspirator Gifts

"...but you uncovered this cafe's secret conspiracy to addict us to over-caffeinated drinks."

Billy strip: bed pan.

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Non-Jet Lag.

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"Rough day; I have a staff meeting at nine, presentation at ten, big conference call at noon and then at three I'm getting fired and escorted out of the building by security."

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

"What's the big deal? We pull all-nighters all the time."

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

I think it must have been one hierarchical pyramid reduction strategy too many!...

Getting things done.

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

'Tell me where she hides the treats and I'll get you a straw.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

'I don't think there actually is a right side of the bed for you to wake up on, Dear!'

"When I said you should get more sleep I meant at home!"

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

"We get in, we go down, we walk to the Park. I do my business; we're in and out in ten minutes. Anyone asks, you're with me."

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

'I baked it especially for you.'

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

"After you read the menu, eat it."

Spring turkey season has Pete super paranoid...