Contactless Techie Gifts

"It's COVID mate, we prefer contactless for muggings these days."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Ascent of Machine.

"Invest in technology."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"You are still here."

All the apps hidden within a phone

Spooning

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

I've always been slower than computers...

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this pretty pace from day to day. To the last syllable of recorded time. . ."

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Statue of liberty selfie

"In this scene, imagine you're sentient and know what feelings are."

'Why not Google it?'