Contactless Delivery Gifts

"Guess we don't need to write 'Sorry we missed you...' slips anymore."

LAY ZEE FUK

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Food deliverer's baby.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Grrrr....'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Anything for me?"

Sisyphus Pizza

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Careful it's hot." (Colour)

"There's the mailman!"

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

"Somebody order a pizza?"

Do you realize the light from that star left over a hundred thousand years ago and it only just got here? That's nothing --- Have you ever phoned out for pizza?

Pizza delivery boy coming out of the television.

"I would've gotten here earlier but I went on my lunch break during the drive."

"Do you have experience delivering anything other than eggs?"

Beware of the dog.

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."