Contact Lens Warrior Gifts

Henry proudly models his new goggles that prevent him from losing a contact lens.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

Call Center.

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Contacts vs. Glasses

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

Danger-zone journalists.

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

Sale. Everything Must Go.

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

'Nobody move! I've lost a contact.'

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'

"Stop, don't move - I've dropped a contact lens"

'Please, Cap'n -- we'll never find your contact lens!'

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

"A la Recherche d'une Lentille de Contact," d'apres Millet.

“Something’s wrong with my android.”