Phone Call Warrior Gifts

When telemarketers pray.

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

'Stop phoning me at work. I don't care if you have got a technical problem!'

"If you are calling to bitch, press 1..."

"How did you get this number?"

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

"We're cutting you off, none of our operators are game eough to talk to anyone willing to remain on hold for that long."

"yetthhh, i hold..."

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"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."

Call Center.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

Collar I.D.

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

Henry proudly models his new goggles that prevent him from losing a contact lens.

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

'If you wish to complain please press 2 and then select the Death Metal band that you'd like to listen to while you are on hold.'

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

'Can't you see we're having a conference call?'

STRIP Hambone: Cleaner answering the phone in office

'I had a great day! I woke up 10 people, interrupted 28 breakfasts, 42 lunches and thoroughly ruined 21 dinners.'

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....