Call Center Warriors Gifts

Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Stress

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

Call Center.

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

Cheese Call Center

"The time is now 7:42 - and if you can hang on for half a sec, I'll witch you over to Phil with the weather."

"Even though I'm a robot with robot with no emotions, all these telemarketing calls I'm getting is starting to get on my nerves."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"He'll come to eat when he can interrupt dinner. He's playing telemarketer."

"That's the part of hands-free technology that creeps me out... on-hold music karaoke."

Fun at the Office #563: THE DAY THE TELEPHONES EXPLODED

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."