Lens Warrior Gifts

Danger-zone journalists.

"Our war is against cancer."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Gamers

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

A boy with a camera

Female chemotherapy warrior.

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

I'm color blind, please help.

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

'I think we're out of focus.'

Men painting red and white.

How many trees were cut down to get the paper necessary to print your book?

"The side lenses will help you maintain visual acuity when looking askance."

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

'WOW, this is a GREAT Telephoto Lens, Joe! That Grizzly bear WAY down there looks like it's Right up here in FRONT of my face!'

'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

'Spread your wings now.' 'Bugger off, you weirdo.'