Consumer Technology Gifts

"Hi! I'm Carl, from Amazon fulfillment. Would you mind telling us how you feel about your online shopping experience?"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Anti-Agent

"Welcome to the future"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Computer Room.

Polly txt speak

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The Computer Bore

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Jack of all trades

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