Digital Consumer Gifts

Online Shopping

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I shop, therefore I am."

Cellphone Islands

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Brat"

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

I e-bay t-shirt.

"I need a more interactive you."

Internet Restaurant

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Strategies that will always work

The Lesser Pyramids

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

"I didn't mind that his Valentine was a e-card. The big letdown was getting the box of e-chocolates."

"What's the saying? 'An Amazon gift card is a girl's best friend.'"

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

e-procurement

There now follows a party political broadcast on behalf of the status quo...

'The following program has been formatted to fir your mental screen.'

'How am I supposed to know anything about the English Channel? It's not even on our cable system.'

"You will have to text your order directly to chef. We're not speaking."