Modern Consumer Gifts

"I try to keep the Christmas spirit by having credit-card debt all year long."

The Lesser Pyramids

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

The Modern Novel.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Fur Baby

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

The Eternal Question

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

'Tweet me when I'm flagged...hashtag 'drunk'.'

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

'Why can't we just go to school.org?'

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Vendo Tree.

Ignorance and Bliss