Modern Convenience Enthusiast Gifts

'I told you I didn't want indoor plumbing, but no! You just had to keep up with the Jones. Call the plumber. The pipes are frozen again.'

"We can now pay our water bill online, and for the sheer joy of doing so, they only charge an extra $2 dollars."

Thank goodness we don't have to hunt and gather anymore.

'I'm tired of using every part of the stupid buffalo -- I wish they'd put a Wal-Mart in around here!'

Condom Delivery

'I sent out for everything.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Now you can send it."

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

Hands-free laptop.

Santa Elevator

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

The News in Capsule Form.

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

Garden of Earthly Delights

"Gracie, people don't understand how hard things used to be. Sure, we can be green and throw out the washing machines...but then we'd have to load up the dirty clothes, drive the car to the river, and wash everything with rocks!"

Vendo Tree.

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

Church Drive-Thru.

New York Man