Digital Consumption Gifts

"Doom scrolling."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'There's nothing on.'

Cellphone Islands

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

TV-Man

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Binge Watch

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Internet Magazine.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Online Data 5000 powered by teenage girls"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'