Consumer Electronics Gifts

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

"I've managed to get hold of one of those 'all for one ad one for all' remote controls."

' I can't afford a smartphone. How much for a dumb one?'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'In our advanced technology course, we teach you how to use the latest in consumer products no matter how fast they come out.'

Screen Addiction

"I upgrade then it's obsolete and I have to upgrade again! As soon as I upgrade I have to upgrade again! Upgrade! Upgrade!! Always upgrade!!"

"Oh no. . . I've only got an iphone 46! I feel SO inadequate. . !!!"

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

"Roger takes his online product reviews VERY seriously!"

Line up for the latest thing! Buy it now!

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

Capitalism Comes to China

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"I confess I've felt temptation to cheat."

"I came in to buy the new ipad pro. I picked the silver one."

My incredible dedicated pet monkey. You've waited in line for a week at Computer Villa. Computer Villa parking lot. Now I have my new Ybox game console. I am complete man. I am whole. The new Playstation comes out this fall. I am empty and wanting. Form a new line to the left!

You're really not interested in new gadgets? Something's changed. It doesn't bother you if I insult your iPhone or your Xbox or your Wii? They're just toys. What about my needs?! Too much TV is making you edgy.

I'm miserable. I find no joy in the idea of buying new things. You're better off than some. How can you say that? New gadgets are my whole reason for living. True. But there's someone else who is equally invested in your geekiness. And she's taking it worse. If I can't hate him and his gadgets, what's the point of living?! You call this living?

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You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Father, if Google and Apple compete, to whom should I show allegiance? We are mere mortals. We cannot pretend to understand the meaning of this war. Perhaps it is like Zeus vs. Godzilla, or Terminator vs the Hobbit. Or even the force from Star Wars vs. the sentient tree from the planet Pandora. I have no idea what you're saying. My point. It's beyond our understanding. Computer Villa Customer Service.

Quantity over quality

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Rage.

Evolution.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Hiding the electronics.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Invest in technology."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

AA Meeting Here Today

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'