Construction Chaos Connoisseur Gifts

'I'll give him twenty minutes, then jump in and show him how its done.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Meowlzebub

Crane fishing

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

Man-made vs dog-made

allovertheplace.com

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Hmm, now that I see it, I think I like the dam back where you put it before.

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

Folding Container.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

How to Build a Bungalow

Cook au vin

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

'I need a green house built ASAP.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'