Construction Chaos Connoisseur T-Shirts

'I'll give him twenty minutes, then jump in and show him how its done.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Meowlzebub

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Crane fishing

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

Man-made vs dog-made

allovertheplace.com

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

Folding Container.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

How to Build a Bungalow

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

Cook au vin

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

'I need a green house built ASAP.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'