Constellation Questioner T-Shirts

"I don't like the way women are portrayed in the constellations."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Do Guns Kill?

"But what if this is all there is?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

Lost and Profound.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Religion, This End Up

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'Does My Bum Look Big In This Dimension?'

God hounded by the media.

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"What am I, chopped liver?"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Hang on - I've forgotten the question!"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

'We're going to look at the solar eclipse.'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo