Constellation Questioner T-Shirts

"I don't like the way women are portrayed in the constellations."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

Do Guns Kill?

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Lost and Profound.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Religion, This End Up

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

God hounded by the media.

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"Hang on - I've forgotten the question!"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'We're going to look at the solar eclipse.'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'