Universe Questioner T-Shirts

Thought of the sentient protoplasm sack

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Origins of Everything

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

Do Guns Kill?

"But what if this is all there is?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

Lost and Profound.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."