Universe Ponderer T-Shirts

'Sorry I'm late, but you know how the Universe keeps expanding.'

'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'

"I had a productive week."

Even if you're a CEO at a big corporation, you're still just a CEO at a big corporation.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life than unlocking the mysteries of the universe."

"Shall we put it in play?"

'You know, Jane, there's something in the air that makes me sure our luck's about to change.'

'But what is the universe for?'

"So I noticed you set everything up to appear as if it's all governed by simple laws of physics. How come?"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'Shucks... The immensity of the universe doesn't make me feel small.'

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

God Sneezes Out Creation

'And if there are alternate universes, they aren't big enough for both of us.'

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

'I don't understand the meaning of the whole Universe yet - I'm only 23.'

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

"Even though we work with enormous numbers, a zillion just doesn't tell us very much."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."

Galactic History Museum

"Don't you ever think that it might all just be some kind of cosmic joke?"

The Origins of Everything

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"If there really are 70 million other galaxies I definitely lost the office pool."

"Somehow, I still feel insignificant."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"I feel I've been put in my place by the universe."

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.