Heaven Ponderer T-Shirts

'What about all these fish stories?'

Bored Angels: 'Now what?'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

The Origins of Everything

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"