Heavenly Ponderers T-Shirts

'Is it just me or do birthdays seem to come round much quicker now?'

"I feel peculiar about having wings. In life, I was a chicken farmer."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"I don't see HIS name on it."

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Jesus wept

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'What did He do before he was God?'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

Self Service Island

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

Various Birds of Pray.

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

Not so heavenly