Questioner Of The Universe T-Shirts

The Skeptics' Association.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

The Origins of Everything

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"But what if this is all there is?"

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Lost and Profound.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'