Constellation Quester T-Shirts

"That's the Crab nebula and that's the 'load of dots that don't look like anything much' nebula!"

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"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Time Travel Research Lab

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

'I've overcome my fears of personal mortality and the indifference of the Universe, but I'm still a little worried about those skip-tracers.'

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'He's close -- he's developed a unified field theory for everything except anchovies.'

'This?! This is the legendary fountain of youth that men have sought for centuries.'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

The Water Diviner

"This job could lead to smaller things."

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

"Ooh, get the quantum theorist hiding behind that tree."

Tonight: Lecture on 4th Dimensional Physics and Ontological Topology. Buy Tickets Here. Sorry, fellas, but I'm going to have to see some IQ.