Console Confidant Pillows

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Time for tea and friendship.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Internet Cafe.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

"Is this the home that needs an exorcism on a gamer?"

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

Wearing bras in 2020.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'My wife doesn't understand us.'