Console Confidant T-Shirts

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Time for tea and friendship.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Internet Cafe.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Personal Assistants.

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

Wearing bras in 2020.

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"Is this the home that needs an exorcism on a gamer?"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'