Connected Conversationalists Pillows

"So, what have you been up to on your phone?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

Communication

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

A lesson in wit

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'