Conversationalists Club Pillows

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Read any good Apps lately?'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Pie chart of pub conversations

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

A lesson in wit

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

Bla Bla Bla

'...I said, well now that they've reached saturation point at least they're not making so many...'