Creative Conversationalists Pillows

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

A lesson in wit

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'